A New Chapter

This year came and found me barely able to walk, unable to sleep, and unable to financially cover the basic essentials in life. Since I couldn't walk, I couldn't work. Since I couldn't work, we didn't have enough money. Since we didn't have enough money, we found ourselves without food. 2009 began with a young newlywed poor and "expecting" couple falling completely apart. Then, the miracles began.

All my life I have been very interested and active in volunteer work. Even as a little kid, when the teachers asked everyone to bring one canned item into school for the food drive, I would go to the pantry and sneak as many as I could into my backpack without mom knowing. (Granted, a lot of them tended to be green beans because it provided the two-for-one bonus of helping others while making it so I didn't have to eat them... yuck!) Almost everyone in the class would bring in a can and we'd all be excited that we had contributed.

In middle School I went on a missions trip and spent a lot of time working at a food bank, stocking shelves and putting together ready-made bags of essentials for families to have. The next day the food bank was scheduled to open at 9:00am. By 6:00am there was a line literally a mile long of people waiting for their turn in hopes that there would be enough. There wasn't, and my heart broke.

After college, when Katrina hit the south, I was one of a small group of people that went door to door, asking for donations and packing three vans full to travel down and help. We stocked and organized a food bank when we got there, in between days of removing trees from houses and helping with the cleanup. The things we saw that week were incredible, and it made us all thankful for the things we had.

But it wasn't until January 2009 that I fully understood the impact of what it meant to those families that someone was willing to donate. It was a Friday when we pulled up to the State College Food Bank, and it was almost closing time. Steve and I prayed they would still accept us and possibly give us enough to last us even just a few days. What we received that day blew our minds. Five bags of groceries bursting with food on top of a bag with shampoo, deodorant, shampoo, soap, laundry detergent, paper towels and toilet paper. Fresh veggies, bread, a whole frozen chicken, tons of other dry and canned goods... and three cans of green beans. I've never been so happy to see green beans.

It is impossible to describe the feeling of receiving the things you need most from absolute strangers, free of charge, just because they care. Although I was an emotional pregnant woman ruled by hormones and was already always on the verge of tears, it didn't hold a candle to how hard I cried when we were given that help. For the first time in my life I wasn't the one handing out the things others need... I was the one with that need who asked for help. And I wasn't let down, people were there to help pick me back up.

February brought with it winds of change. Though by the end of the month I was restricted to a wheel chair, unable to walk and having fallen twice, God was still pouring in the help and love we needed. A letter came in the mail from a local church Stephen and I had visited a few times. It seemed they had somehow heard of our circumstances, and in the envelope was $100 gift card to Walmart. My hormonal self cried again, though I suspect that the pregnancy had absolutely nothing to do with how I felt.

Several family members began having us over for dinner, my dad bought us groceries, my grandma showed up at our house several times with food claiming my grandpa insisted she clean out the freezer because they couldn't possibly eat it all. (It was frozen food... it would have lasted long enough I'm sure!) We weren't on our feet yet, but we were working hard to get there. We were credited $300 to our gas company to keep warm, thanks to LIHEAP. As the month came to a close, we were approved for food stamps. Steve continued working all the extra hours he could get, as he had been doing all along, and my sister would come over to help me get around and take care of myself after school so that Steve didn't have to come check on me as often.

Then, I had my baby shower. All of those fears we had about being able to put together a nursery and care or our child were erased immediately. We were blessed by so many family members and friends, and as had become my habit, at the end of the day I cried. On top of all of those things, we continued (and do to this day) receiving hand-me-downs from the Brickers and Gipes. Toys and clothes galore! What a huge help both of those families are, I can't even tell you.

March was the hardest on me physically, but everything else was really coming together. Now that we were able to breathe again when it came to the necessities, we were able to finally relax. (Well, as much as you can when you or your wife are that far pregnant!) My sister continued to be our saving grace when it came to finding ways to keep me less stressed -- bad for baby!-- and provided much comic relief just being her wonderful self. We couldn't have chosen a more appropriate person to be Johnny's godmother!

I was in the ER a total of eleven times during my pregnancy, and all but two of those were since the new year had started. Complications abounded, but miraculously all of them had to do with my body and not the baby's. Every time they checked, Johnny was totally healthy and fine as far as they could see, and the problems really only affected me for the most part. He was literally sucking the life out of me, but as long as he was okay, I was okay. It is amazing how God designed things so that the fetus will retain all of the nutrients it needs, leaving it to the mother to make sure she gets enough for herself as well. I have to tell you, pregnancy in and of it's self was one of the most fascinating experiences I have ever had.

April arrived with a visit from Kevin and Claire, and with them came enough baby supplies to hold over a third world country and all of it's newborns. I was due the 30th, but they both kept saying how much they wished I'd have the baby while they were there to visit. I was even more anxious for him to be born, so we all crossed our fingers and waited. Alas, it was to no avail. Wednesday they left and went on to celebrate their anniversary elsewhere. Two days later? I went in to the hospital.

Johnny was born that Sunday, April 5th. At 3.5 weeks early, he was 6lb 9oz and 20.5 inches long. As Stephen so proudly puts it "born at 9:54 on 4/5/09" and completely healthy! I've never been so happy and in so much pain in my whole life. As much as I screamed and swore I'd never have another, the minute he was born it all melted away and I was as proud as a mama could be. That night, Johnny sang us all to sleep.

After a 5 day stay in the hospital, we were released and finally went home to introduce our baby boy to his new home. His aunt Christy had yet again been the one holding us all together when we were in the hospital, and we were glad he could finally spend some quality time with her as well. I was on the mend, and with Steve's boss' permission to work from home, the three of us enjoyed our first week together. A lot of people came to visit, and before we knew it he was ready to celebrate his first holiday. Easter day, he was 1 week old.

Unfortunately, by the end of May I had become too sick to take care of Johnny, and spent several days in the hospital trying to get myself back together and to the point where I could look after the baby myself. By the time I got out, I was excited to be back and highly motivated to be the best mom I could.

June and July passed in a whirlwind of activity. It wasn't even that we were doing anything big, it was simply the changes we were getting to watch Johnny go through. He was growing all too fast, and by the time August hit we were ready to take him on his first vacation. Off to Lake Erie we went, ready to spend a week with family!

That week was rather eventful and definitely sticks out from the rest. First of all, Johnny finally got to meet his namesake. Uncle Johnny was home from Iraq! As much as I always love seeing my brother, it was ten times more incredible getting to introduce him to my son. I will never forget that moment.

Secondly, that was the week my mom got remarried. The wedding was small and in a park, and everyone ended up back at the cabins to hang out for the rest of the night. The rest of the week there was so much food left over that we honestly could have gotten away without cooking at all!

September came and we began the transition with Johnny from milk to solid food. I quickly learned that his tastes are much the same as mine, and those green beans just didn't want to go down. Still now he refuses to eat them. Bananas on the other hand are a must.

October brought about Johnny's first Halloween, which was spent "trick-or-treating" at each of his grandparents houses locally. The little monkey enjoyed his night, but was ready to get out of the costume and snuggle with his pap-pap by the end of it. Somehow mommy and daddy ended up with more candy than they had ever gotten as kids, even though the costumed little guy wasn't able to eat any!

November was awesome. We spent Thanksgiving week visiting both Steve's sister Christy in DC and his second mom Leta in North Carolina. Staying at Christy and Will's was a lot of fun, and Johnny enjoyed finally getting some time to spend with his aunt for several days. She took us all to one of the Smithsonian museums and Johnny even got to see the original Kermit the frog! The only one glad to see us leave at the end of the visit was Christy's cat Max. He was very unsure of the baby and seemed intimidated by all of Johnny's loud talking and abundance of toys.

Next as I mentioned we went on down to visit Leta. Her daughter Catherine was able to make it in from Colorado, and it was the first time I have gotten to see her since high school. It is hard to believe it has been that long. The only downside to the visit was that all of us ended up sick! Personally, I blame the holiday as it seems I am always sick for Thanksgiving. We all got to spend a lot of time catching up, and as usual the baby was spoiled. I only wish they all lived closer!

Now it is December. Johnny's first Christmas was absolutely wonderful, and he enjoyed every part of it. Chewing on, tearing at, and unwrapping presents was quite the novelty. All three of us were given far more than we ever could ask for, and I'm pretty sure the baby is set for life in the toy department. Among his favorites are his new glow worm, his crawl tent, his finger puppet book, his drum and his new red wagon!

The year is coming to a close and as I look back, I can not imagine ever again having such a radical experience as the ups and downs of 2009. My marriage has grown stronger, our son was born and is continually changing and learning new things, and the year has taken me to places I've never been or dreamed of. It was truly a year of blessings, and as we have begun this new chapter in life, I can't wait to see what happens next.