Missing You

Christmas is almost here, and more and more I am noticing how much I am missing so many people. It seems like 80% of the people we are close to and love are at a minimum of several states away. (Award for the furthest goes to Steph Ishler in South Korea!) Johnny in Kentucky, Cat in Colorado, Leta & John as well as Kevin & Claire in North Carolina, Steph Tremblay & Bonnie in Indiana, Bonnie & Carranda in Michigan; why can't everyone live close together? At least within the state or a neighboring one! -- A half-day drive?

I wish I could raise my son knowing each and every one of them as well as I do. It is weird hitting this stage in life where I'm old enough to have seen so many people who are a big part of my life split into a thousand directions. -- This kind of a thing just wasn't a problem as a kid since none of us could go anywhere on our own!

To all of you who we can't be with, the Delafield family wishes you the best Christmas and a wonderful Holiday Season! We love and miss you!

Fever...

Well, at least we made it all the way to 8 1/2 months! Johnny isn't feeling well at all today. He is down for a nap again, and I wish I could just kiss him and make it all better. The poor little guy is teething and has a temp of 99.8 degrees. It's just a low-grade fever but still isn't fun. There has been a lot of cuddling going on, and for that I am glad, but I wish it wasn't a result of being sick. My typically rambunctious crazy boy is depressingly docile. I guess I'm lucky he isn't extremely fussy instead, but it is just weird seeing him without all of the smiles and bouncing about.

Advancements

Johnny is now able to sit unsupported. He has been doing so for a while now, but he is finally getting to the point where he can do it for decently long amounts of time. He has been able to rotate in circles for a few weeks as well, and it is getting to the point where crawling won't really add a whole lot of mobility since he is already finding ways to get all over the apartment. For now, it takes him a little longer so I'll enjoy that part of it for as long as I can. We officially need to baby-proof the apartment again. I have enjoyed not having to pull little plastic covers out of the sockets every time I need to vacuum, but Johnny is now interested in trying to stick his fingers in them so we need to block them all again. At least we won't have to put the doorknob covers on for a few years!

We haven't seen any new signs when it comes to teething. After that first one started to cut through there really hasn't been any progression. Johnny is still chewing everything he can get his hands on. I've started letting him eat some crackers and fruits when they are broken or cut into very tiny pieces. He is enjoying the new changes in food options, but it is so messy! I need a drop-cloth for our floor! I know that for this stage with Alice they got one of the plastic office floor covers to sit under her highchair but since we don't feed Johnny in one specific place it is a little hard. That, and we don't have the two dogs Alice has to clean up after everything. With Zack I didn't have to handle this part a whole lot. I'd have to say the worst are the teething biscuits. Johnny loves them, but by the end of the whole ordeal everyone is covered in gooey grossness.

Christmas morning will be fun when we can give him some of his Pap Pap's famous Belgian waffles! -- No syrup though, too sweet and way too messy.

Tis the Season!

We got our Christmas tree on the 3rd, my dad's birthday. Johnny spent the whole time playing with the beads that go on the tree. He loves the lights and spent a lot of the evening staring at them as we decorated. When we went over to GG's this past Saturday it began to really snow a substantial amount for the second time this year. (The last was in October I think, and it didn't last long...) Johnny spent most of the afternoon watching the snow fall outside the window. It is so much fun to see him in awe of such simple things that a lot of adults don't think twice about.

All of the presents are wrapped and under the tree, with the exception of Gary's, my dad's, and Johnny's drum. We still have to order the drum, and the other two are impossible to buy for. -- More so Gary than my dad, but we can't think of anything for either one at the moment.

We have been working on getting the house ready to have people over on Christmas in the evening, but it seems every time I turn around there are more toys all over the place. And just think, this is before he is mobile! With all of the things he is sure to get for Christmas, I can imagine that soon my house will be taken over.

December

Our vacation was absolutely amazing... all the way up until the 8 hour car ride on Sunday that ended with only having gone 100 miles and 3 sick Delafields. We had to pull over and get a hotel for the night before driving the last 7 hours or so, but thankfully we made it with no traffic on Monday.

Moving backward, we started out our trip at Christy's and had a great time. We walked from her place to the Smithsonian and checked out their American History Museum. We also enjoyed some good times playing darts and generally watching Steve and Will duel it out. Max, their cat, was rather perturbed with the arrival of a miniature human being to the mix, but Johnny had a wonderful stay at his aunt's.

From there we moved on to Boone and despite the general illness that passed through most of us during our stay, we had a great visit. It was so good to see Leta, John and Catherine. They all spoiled Johnny rotten (we've had to spend all of our time since convincing him that he can not expect to be picked up and play with every single time he cries) and were all sad to see him go at the end of the week. I really wish we lived closer to them, I wouldn't mind relocating to Boone. Too bad Catherine seems set on staying in Colorado... I was hoping to convince her to move back to State College!

Now December has come and the focus has turned from Thanksgiving to Christmas. Though Johnny enjoyed his pumpkin pie and the likes, sugar cookies and gingerbread will be a welcome snack as well. Tomorrow is my dad's birthday and we plan on getting our tree and decorating it then in keeping with our normal family tradition. I'm interested to see how Johnny reacts to the tree, he loved Leta's with all of it's lights.

Now if only we could just order his Christmas present...

Vacation

Tomorrow we leave for a week away from home. In the morning we are all going to get the H1N1 vaccine, but then it's packing up the car and off we go! We are all really looking forward to the trip, and although I am worried that Johnny might be a little fussy to start off with because of the shots, he should be good after a little bit. He loves car rides.

Steve spent a long time on the phone today with the people from TomTom to get the map update we were promised that the computer refused us. Finally he managed to talk the people into getting it set up, so now we won't have to use printouts the whole time.

Other than our upcoming plans, not too much else has been going on. November 16th Johnny finally had his first tooth cut through, but only the very top. Ever since he is even more insistent on chewing on everything, much like a puppy with brand new shoes to attack. We will be taking plenty of teething toys and biscuits. He seems to like puffs too.

The girls are getting along with Johnny just fine. He and Kelsey are pretty much best friends. I can't have them in the room together without letting them sit with each other or they both start freaking out. They're cute but I think they are starting to drive Averey nuts. "Why do they keep holding haaaaands?"

Well, I gotta finish packing... here's to a safe journey!

Flipping Out

I'm getting pretty bad at updating. The older Johnny gets, the busier our family is! It also seems that the older Johnny gets the more hyper he is. Although this is true of most babies, I don't think I have ever seen one so full of energy as my little boy. I have watched countless little ones in my life and never has one been such a spitfire. My question at this point is hold old a kid has to be before you can put them on Ritalin? Okay-- so maybe not yet. But I definitely think the father's ADHD is manifesting it's self in the son.

Yesterday Johnny did a back flip off of Steve's lap. He was sitting there facing his dad, hand in his hand, and then suddenly launched himself backward, arched, and flung around to land perfectly with his feet on the floor. PARENT HEART ATTACK. We both proceeded to tell the baby how horrible the idea was and that he must never ever do it again. Somehow, I'm not all that sure Johnny was listening.

At his doctors appointment on the 5th, he weighed in at 17lb 8oz. That put him right around 30% in the weight category. His 27 2/4" height landed him a little over 75%. The boy just keeps stretching. I was holding him this evening while he was sleeping and was astounded that at birth he was smaller than what is currently the length from his head to his butt. We're going to have a time of it when he starts hitting those crazy teenage growth spurts if this is how fast he's been going to begin with. Steve said the fastest he grew was 4 inches in one summer--3 months? That just has to be painful. There's no way around it.

Lately Johnny has been a lucky boy. His mama has found the way to his heart. To be honest, it's the same as with his daddy... technology. We gave him one of my old cell phones (no battery) to chew on, as well as a computer all of his own.

That's right, Johnny has a computer.

A laptop.

And its a mac.

Ten guesses whose computer it was before now? Yeah, grandpa Gary. A 1992 Powerbook 160 is now all Johnny's to bang on and play with to his heart's content.

Gary needed the hard drive to be disposed of so he gave it to Steve a while ago. Well, Johnny kept trying to commandeer my computer every time he sat anywhere near it, so I finally came up with the bright idea of cleaning the mac and handing it over. Let me tell you, the boy couldn't be happier. All because of Steve's procrastination.

Go team.

Trick-or-Treat

The slobber monkey enjoyed his first Halloween. We got a bunch of pictures of him with everyone he visited, and even received an awesome book about costumes from his GG. It was so much fun to see everyone's faces when we showed up at the front door. His grandpa Gary even had us leave with about 4 bags full of candy, despite the fact that the 6 1/2 month old has no way of eating it. -- Not that I mind!

Eli Bricker's birthday party was on Saturday, and Johnny really had a blast watching all of the 3 year olds run in circles around the place. There were so many little kids, all hyped up on sugar. Johnny never had a chance to get bored, there was so much going on. He went along rather well with the pirate theme, as anytime he got very excited he would yell out "AAAARGH" and then start to laugh. What a little nut.

Both Saturday and Sunday afternoons Johnny spent a lot of time with his daddy so that I could get some work done. They watched football and played games, and all I heard all day was a ton of giggling. His laugh is so contagious. It is impossible to hear that little boy get going without cracking up yourself. Steve and I have always laughed a lot, but it was nothing compared to how we laugh now that Johnny has come along.

I love my little boy!

Oops!

This month has been increasingly busy. I haven't had a chance to sit down and update. Things are good, Johnny is growing like a week, and fall is here in full force. Tomorrow is Halloween and Johnny has a monkey costume to dress up in. We're taking him trick-or-treating from one relative's house to the next. He is a bit young for the whole candy ordeal, so we figured this was a good way to get him all decked out and enjoy the evening without looking like we're two adults trying to scam people out of their candy.

Big boy is now consistently saying "dada" and has begun to scream it when Stephen leaves for work. His daddy is by far his favorite person in the whole world. All it takes is for Steve to walk into the room and the kid is lit up like a jack-o-lantern on Halloween. (Hey, that was good right? Appropriate? Halloween?)

Teething has been an excellent adventure. Still nothing to show for it except drenched onezies and family. We all look as though we've been through a shower with our clothes on after even ten minutes of holding the slobber box. I know that most children stick anything they can find in their mouths at this age, but I'm telling you this kid is beyond extreme. I've watched a good number of kids through this stage and I've never seen anything like him. He finds things! That teddy bear? The one that was just across the room? Suddenly it's all the way over in Johnny's mouth. It's like magic! The kid doesn't even look like he moved!

Speaking of movement, I have the Gummo girls over today and it looks like all of the rugrats are moving around. More later!

6 Months.

Ummm... that's too old. Johnny can't be 6 months yet. I refuse to allow it! Don't get me wrong, I know I'll be all excited for his first birthday, but for now I want him to slow down. I want to keep my baby as long as I can. I have puppy syndrome, as soon as one starts to get too big I want another tiny one to enjoy that stage all over again! Too bad it will have to wait a few years...

I do look forward to his first few birthday parties. I love to plan parties. Holidays complete me.

I've decided that I should list the things my son has learned over the past 6 months and see how far he has come.

Birth - 6lb 90z, 21" and 3.5 weeks premature

3 days - Cried for the first time

4 days - First doctor's visit

4 days - First (real) bath

5 days - Began sleeping through the night

1 week - First holiday (Easter)

2 weeks - Rolled over

1.25 month - 8lb 14oz, 21" ( 30% weight & height)

2 months - 10lb 2oz, 21.25" (25% weight & height)

2 months - Laughed for the first time

2.5 months - Said first words... "Hello" and "Hi"

3 months - 12lb even, 23.5' (16% weight / 20% height)

3 months - Said "Da" but refused to say "Dada"

3 months - Began teething

4 months - 13lb 14oz, 26" (25% weight / 95% height)

4 months - Started eating solid food

5 months - Began pulling feet up to face

6 months - Happy, Healthy, and way too big!

Wow, I didn't realize just how busy we've been. Of course there were a lot of other little things, but those were the highlights. Unfortunately, we were never able to get a weight/height on him for 5 months. His 6 month doctors appointment is in a week, and it will be nice to have an updated figure. No matter what he weighs in and measures at, I'll still think it is too big.

My baby is 6 months old today.

Busy Busy Babies

At the moment Johnny is surrounded by 3 girls. Ellie, Averey and Kelsey are all at our house for the day. Stephen was home for lunch, but has headed back on to campus for classes and a midterm. The little guy is now the only y chromosome in the place!

Now, as we all sit and watch Monsters Inc. and listen to the squealing and giggling of little Boo on the screen, all of the babies have managed to join in the fun. Averey keeps quoting the lines right after they are said. The movie came out when I was a sophomore in high school, so I was slightly surprised that Averey knew it so well and wanted to watch it. Then again, the Disney Princesses are still beloved in the children's movie community. I can't wait to see what Johnny's favorite will be in a few years...

Talk about kisses baby!

This past week (starting on Monday actually) Johnny started chatting it up. Before now he would coo and ahh, but now he is actually moving his mouth like he is trying to make actual words. "Rah rawr rah wah rah" is about the extent of what we are hearing, but he continues with the "hello" here-and-there as well as "ma" or "baba" in between. The best part of this past week wasn't the talking though. Johnny started giving kisses! He will pull your face in close to his and kiss you on the lips. Talk about a sweet little boy... I'm so in love! Who could resist such a cute little face that wants to chat it up and give you kisses?

Meanwhile, Johnny continues to enjoy "nakey" time every day. Ever since he was about a month old I've given him at least 15 minutes to lay au naturale and relax for a little while. As a result, he is 5 1/2 months old and still has yet to ever have diaper rash. Well, the older he gets the more he moves around. Now he will roll over onto his stomach and prop himself up on his elbows to smile and giggle. The kid doesn't love anything more than being clothesless, and as a result he spends most of his time in just a diaper. Baby is crying? Just take off his onezie! Instant giggles. What a little goof.

Johnny is going to his third wedding today. The little sweater vest he wore to Lisa's still fits him, so he will be able to look all spiffy again. Toya and Dave are mutual friends of Steve and mine from high school, so it will be fun to see some other acquaintances that we have lost track of since graduation. It should be a fun afternoon.

New Friends

Johnny has been making quick friends with Averey and Kelsey Gummo. Averey spoils both babies and helps out a lot with them, and the babies like to play on the floor together and stare at each other. I have the girls two to three days a week, so it is nice to have them around for fun yet still have some days with just mommy and baby.

Lately Johnny hasn't been feeling all that well, and though I think that a lot of it has to do with teething, he has had a runny nose and goopy eyes as well. There is only so much I can do to help, so there has been a lot of screaming baby and a lot of bouncing/dancing parents. I am definitely getting my exercise just carrying him around the apartment. Hopefully when we go to Walmart tonight he will chill out some in the cart. He likes walking around even in his car seat, and both Steve and I could use some peace and quiet. I think Steve is coming home early today to help out with Johnny since it has been so hectic.

Labor Day

Corn on the cob, watermelon, hamburgers, chips... this is what life is all about! Too bad Johnny isn't old enough to enjoy any of it! Well, maybe I'll give him a little watermelon to gnaw on while kept under a watchful eye. So far today he has been in a very strange mood. He is extremely happy one minute and convinced the world is ending the next. I think his gums are bothering him. Teething isn't fun.

Introducing new foods has been quite the adventure with the little guy. So far he has decided he loves bananas, is okay with sweet potatoes, pears, and apples, isn't a fan of the rice cereal unless there is something sweet mixed in with it, and absolutely hates peaches. How can anyone hate peaches? Carrots and green beans soon!

Friday Stephen gets paid, and we are going to see about getting a YMCA membership. The discount we could get for having a low income could actually be substantial enough to make the yearly fee affordable. I would love to take Johnny swimming on a regular basis. It would be great exercise for me, and since I have always loved being in the water I wouldn't be surprised if Johnny is a fish too.

Double the Fun!

It is hard to swallow the fact that Johnny is now over twice as big as he was when he was born. Lately his new things have been sticking out his tongue like a froggie and wiggling it around, holding his bottle when no one else is looking, and saying "mom" to his uncle Johnny instead of his mother.

Steve and I have been having a blast with Johnny, and since every day brings something new to the table we never know what is going to happen next. He had me literally rolling on the floor laughing with the faces he was making yesterday. Meal time is always good for some entertainment too. Johnny seems to have taken on the challenge of eating as much as possible as quickly as he can, regardless of whether or not I am shoveling it in fast enough for his liking. He just takes the spoon from me and tries to do it himself.

Today we spent a while playing on a toy piano. The one we are borrowing lights up and flashes, which of course has been the highlight of Johnny's play time. He caught on to the concept right away, and I have the strong suspicion that we will be having him start music lessons of some sort by the time he is 3. I'll have to look into the ages that various teachers will let him start, but at very least we will be able to have Steve teaching him the hand drum and me teaching him piano. If his uncle is around, he will be a master musician in no time!

Tonight is going to be a movie night for just the three of us. Big Johnny is going camping, my dad is going to Grange Fair, Christy Michelle is still in Williamsport for the week, and so it will be the Delafields on their own for the first time in a while. I'm excited. Snuggle time on the couch!

Great Progress

We've had two meetings now with the occupational therapist, and Johnny is doing wonderfully. They were impressed and said he made such great leaps and bounds that he might just get all caught up a few months earlier than our goal of his 1st birthday! He has found his feet and loves to play with them (stomach muscles developing) and is doing drastically better with his neck. We have a few fun new games to play together as well as an exercise ball to roll around on that will continue to develop his tummy and neck. He continues to be well ahead of the game in other areas, and is shaping up quite well overall. Way to go little guy!

Yesterday we went to Grange Fair with my dad. Johnny really enjoyed all of the people, lights and sounds. We'll be headed back down today right after lunch and meeting up with his aunt Christy. It will be nice to get some more fresh air and exercise. Who knows? Maybe we'll even run into Heather, Averey and Kelsey! The girls start back here with us on Monday morning, and I'm very excited to have them around. The little ones can play together and Averey can help me out.

For now I think I will spend some time playing on the floor with Johnny and having fun with him in the Johnny Jump Up!

Tripping at the Lake

Johnny made the 5 hour drive to the lake without crying even one single time. He slept a good bit of the way and sang to the radio for the rest of it! The week was wonderful and very relaxing. Bancroft finally got to meet his little Johnny, and between the sun, sand and water, we were all enjoying some time off.

Mom's wedding went off without a hitch, other than the minor setback of a park no-alcohol rule they had somehow missed. Everyone dumped their beers and wine into red cups and the cop patrolling the place was none the wiser. Afterward everyone went back to the cabins and let loose.

Things were wonderful for the rest of the week until the evening we decided to take Johnny down to the water for his first dip. I managed to miss a few stairs of the back deck and bite the dust, baby in hand. Johnny practically bounced, but I was freaking out and as worried as can be. Karen called in a friend who is a nurse to check him over. Meanwhile, we realized I had really done a number on my ankle. In falling, I had twisted myself to try and protect the little guy as much as possible and it resulted in a sprain. Needless to say, Johnny will have to wait until next year for his first swim in the "big pond" as his cousins like to call it.

It seemed the excitement had died down until the next afternoon when Johnny Bancroft just about drowned in a rip tide. The coast guard, fire company, cops, EMS and everyone showed up to help. We were rather impressed with their response time, and in the end Johnny was ruled okay. Can my boys please stop giving me heart attacks? I thought that part of life wasn't supposed to start when I'm still this young!

The drive home was rather crazy in 4 hours of intense rain and storm, but Johnny slept the whole way. We couldn't have asked for the times with him in the car to have gone any better. I love my baby boy!

Now we're home and big Johnny is staying with us for a few weeks. It is nice having him around and is so cool to see him interacting with the little one. Having them together under one roof is quite the adventure. I am not looking forward to the army stealing my brother again so soon, but for now I will have to deal with the little time we have left. Hey, who knows? He might just teach the baby a thing or two.

Growing

Lake Week is coming up soon. We leave Friday at noon with GG to go to Lorain, OH. Stephen will follow a few hours later once he is done with his Cinematic Art class final.

This year we can stay the entire week. We have a cabin and will be sharing it with Johnny Bancroft. I am excited about the sand and sun, as well as taking little Johnny for his first dip in the lake. We will be bringing his sun tent, and he will be spending a good bit of time in it. I think today I'll begin packing some of the things that won't be needed tomorrow or Friday morning so that we are closer to being ready. Clothes, Johnny's toys, packs of diapers and wipes, etc. I have to find the kid something to wear for my mom's wedding. I'm sure there is something in the closet that has been handed down that is appropriate. It might not actually fit him yet, but we'll let him swim in it and look cute anyway.

Two days ago Johnny had his 4-month checkup with Dr. Prince and was weighed at 13lbs 14oz, less than 1lb up from a month ago. He measured 26 1/2 inches, which is up by 2in, and registers in the 25th percentile for weight, 95th for height. We have one tall skinny baby on our hands! Can you imagine growing at least 2in every month? Steve says he remembers one summer growing 4in in 3 months. Crazy!

Johnny has a meeting with a therapist from Strawberry Fields this afternoon. It should be interesting, and I'm going to learn about some games I can play with the little guy that will specifically target growth in the areas he is a bit behind on. All of the older generations from my own keep saying that they don't understand how anyone could tell if something was off with him and that he looks perfectly good to them. Personally, I believe that the things people are aware of today that weren't something we would know to look for when I was a kid are very helpful, and I'd like to at least have knowledge of any possibilities of issues to look for as he grows. I believe that if there is anything wrong with him, it would be minor and only take a few changes in how we teach him and how he learns as he grows. I believe that had the awareness existed when I was a child, I could have benefited greatly from an adjusted teaching style, so I'm all for charting his growth on multiple levels and adjusting to help him learn in the way that he understands best.

As for now, we will take it one step at a time and I will spend my time playing fun games with my baby boy!

4 Months!

Today marks Johnny's 4 month "birthday". We met with reps from Early Intervention to assess Johnny's growth physically, mentally & emotionally. As I had guessed, (hence my reason for calling the meeting) he is very very advanced in some ways, and not quite keeping up in others. He qualifies for the program, and will be working with a therapist from Strawberry Fields.

Advanced:
Talking -- very much so!
Rolling
Sleeping on his side
Overnight sleep schedule
Eye contact, following items
Grip
Getting on hands & knees

Normal:
Following Sound
Smiles
Tummy time experience

Behind/Abnormal:
Arching his back
Jerky movements
Excessive movement
Excessive energy
Eating schedule/amount
Napping schedule/amount
Temper

With the help of the Strawberry Fields therapist we are hoping to catch him up or fix the third list above. Apparently the issues he is having and the advances he has made in other areas are a sign of a predisposition to ADHD like his daddy, and bipolar disorder with a possibility of aspergers like his mama. Nothing would be diagnosed for a few years, so those are the things we are to watch for. I'm glad we have the resources and foresight to be watching for these things. When I was a kid there just wasn't much awareness of such problems, so nothing was explained or discovered with me until I was a teenager. If he does have any of those issues, it will be much easier to adjust his lifestyle accordingly when starting to do so at such a young age.

Overall, I believe it was a very good meeting and I feel like we are doing a great job with him. Not that I would wish any of those problems on my child, but I truly believe that if he does have any we would be able to handle them fairly well and keep them from having much in the way of a negative impact on his life. Hooray for being informed and prepared!

Johnny's First Wedding

I love having such a well behaved baby! Today was Lisa & Tim's wedding and even though it was longer than most, (not that Steve and I expect people to be as quick about it as our 23 minute long wedding) he was wonderful! All dressed up and spiffy, Johnny made just about the cutest guest there in his blue sweater vest. He looked around, ate a bottle, and pretty much proved that we had no need to worry about his behavior as he was easier than the other kids who were mobile and running in between pews in the back.

Christy, Steve, Johnny and I set up store in the "Cry Room" above the sanctuary, but really needn't have bothered. We did enjoy the ability to run a commentary among ourselves freely without any worry of disrupting, which proved useful if for nothing more than identifying people Christy and I haven't seen since we were young. "Is that Aunt Ginny?" ~ "She hasn't aged at all!!!" Somehow we found ourselves still whispering even though we knew no one could hear us.

The reception was pretty, and though Johnny finally started to find his voice again, he did pretty well. Steve took him home after dinner so that Christy and I could hang out for a while without having to worry about the baby. Apparently he went home, ate a bottle, then cried for a while until Steve put him back in the car to come pick us up. As always, the car calmed him down. The poor kid didn't take a nap at all today! He just finally fell asleep about an hour ago, meaning he has been up for 12 hours straight.

Consensus is that we're set for the other 4 weddings we have coming up!

Life in the Fast Lane

Things around our house have been a little non-stop lately. We rearranged our entire house, making the living room a library/lounge and turning the guest bedroom into a "viewing room" as Stephen likes to call it. The TV, DVDs, gaming systems, couch and recliner are now all in there so I can shut the door if I don't want to hear all of the boys yelling every time someone shoots a zombie or whatever it is they do playing their video games. During the day Johnny and I usually relax in there for a while and watch some CSI, then move out to the living room for reading and some tummy time.

Meanwhile, I've started going to a chiropractor. Best idea ever! My back has been all messed up since my belly started throwing me off balance 8 or 9 months ago, and the doctor confirmed my theory that I have a pinched nerve. I am now going in daily for therapy, and I think I'm in love. I always feel so much better when I walk out of there. I was even thinking of possibly having him take a look at Johnny's back since I have been convinced for some time that one of his vertebrae is out of line.

Johnny is coming up on 4 months in a week here. We will find out how much he weighs again soon, and I'm interested in where he will fall on the percentage charts. Hopefully we'll have him up from his last appointment where he ranked 10th percentile in weight and 16th percentile in height. He has been stretching out even more over the past few weeks, and I'm convinced he is going to be 7 feet tall by the time he reaches age 16.

BIG Johnny is back in the States! He got in last night and was able to get a cell phone right away. Everyone has been getting calls from him, and it sounds like he will make it from his base in Kentucky up to State College in about two weeks. Johnny is excited to meet Johnny. Take that either way you like, it's true from both sides. Bancroft is threatening to steal Delafield and run away with him. Christy said that is perfectly natural, as it crosses her mind every day. Everyone is trying to steal my baby from me!

Its been a while...

So we're in Altoona for a few days with my mom. Johnny has decided he just likes being naked more than being clothed, so hes been chillin au natural for most of the day. I finally put some clothes back on the kid a little while ago, mid-dinner.

I think the last thing I mentioned in reference to his vocabulary was that he can say "hello" and "hi," but now we've added "Da" to the list. Really I can't get him to say it twice in a row for "Dada," but we'll keep working on it. He seems to think its really funny to pause and laugh in between. I'm kind of worried his next words will be something like "I don't want to," since that is about the attitude I took as a little one.

God, please slow this kid down.

And don't make him too much like me.

On Friday I took Johnny to a class with GG and I. It was called Praying in Color, and was rather fun, but I was worried I might not get him back to take home with me. Shirley tried to steal him and wouldn't let me feed him his bottle because she was insisting on doing so herself. All of the little old ladies were fussing over him and were very impressed when he behaved for the whole thing. Yes, he is well behaved.... for now. Wait until that kid hits the walking and talking stage, then I'll be screwed.

Good news! I get to go to the chiropractor tomorrow! My back has been so messed up since the pregnancy and I am about ready to keel over every time I need to stand up, let alone carry anything. My lower back looks like someone punched their whole fist into it, it is that dented in. Kind of unnatural looking and it is freaking my family out. We didn't think the state's insurance would cover it, but I called and checked. Hooray, they do! Help at last!

Steve has been kind of M.I.A. this past weekend and will continue to be so for the rest of the work. ARL has so much work for him to do for two projects they're working on at the moment that Johnny and I haven't seen much of him. Of all times to go out of time, I think this week was rather appropriate. Hopefully he will get some good rest when he does get a chance to go home, and I pray he finds a way to make it to his classes every morning before work. Last night he called when he got home at 9:00pm. They don't pay him enough for that, especially for the fact that he is currently working a job WAY above his "student" status that would cost over $100k/year if they were to actually hire someone trained for the position. Oh, how I long for the day when he will finally graduate.

Forecast for the following weeks: two birthdays, 3 weddings, and very little time to breathe between. Here we go!

The Proposal

Last night we went to Johnny's first movie at the theater! Surprisingly, he actually watched the whole thing. We were expecting him to either sleep through it or just kind of chill and not care where we were, but he actually watched it and got mad if we turned him away from the screen for any reason. Really, we just wanted to see The Proposal and didn't have a sitter so he came along, but by the end of it he was honestly laughing and cooing and very into the whole experience. He insisted on having his bottle while turned so he could watch at the same time, and when I stopped to burp him he was rather angry until I sat him on my lap and did it that way.

Great movie by the way, I don't think I've laughed that hard at a film in years. The previews made it look like a cute and funny romantic comedy, but it was downright hysterical and had the whole audience in stitches. You know how usually you get one of the best lines in the trailer to a movie and then it's kind of ruined in that sense? So not the case here... I love Betty White.

Johnny's first movie theater experience? Two thumbs up!

Bradley's

This is the weekend of Arts Fest in State College. For those who don't know what that is, it is the one weekend a year when more people pour into this town than even football weekends, getting drunk and wandering around pretending to look at overpriced art and eating way too many horribly expensive cheesesteaks. That is, unless they go to Bradley's, which is still rather expensive but really good quality food in such a large quantity that one $7 sub would feed two easily.

This is also the weekend when townies can land a one-time job working at random food joints all over town. Example? Bradley's. Where drunk people go into the wee hours of the morning to order three times because they can't remember ordering the first time, and where they all forget their names and steal each other's orders. Where people puke their guts out in the bathrooms and overflow the toilets. Where you see the fresh-cut french fries regurgitated. Where worker's heads spin so fast they fall off.

This is the weekend Karie decided to work at Bradley's Friday and Saturday nights from 6:00pm-3:30am to raise enough money to buy Johnny a new swing to replace the one he has that is broken.

This is the weekend Karie died.

For a swing Johnny doesn't even seem to like.



Fail.

Independence Day and Beyond

We had a very pleasant 4th of July. Johnny wore a special outfit made just for him, and I even got to talk to his uncle Johnny for about a half hour! What a great treat! I love that boy, I can't wait for him to come home and meet MY Johnny. As I told him that night, there is a reason I named my son after him.

Yesterday we were able to buy some much needed necessities that we have been going without for a while now. In the baby department, we were on our last thing of diaper wipes, and he desperately lacked bottles and pacifiers. Hooray for shopping trips that involve dish detergent and toilet paper... oh how life has changed since I have become an "adult".

I am hoping to go and walk around People's Choice (a local art festival) on Thursday with Johnny's GG. We will have to break in the chariot stroller now that he is big enough for it and it has the best sun protection for the little guy. I hate this no-sunscreen thing for babies under 6 months. I feel like I'm subjecting him to cancer if I take him outside at all. Summer is my favorite time of year, and between the lack of clear skies, temperatures over 72, and sun protection for my child, I feel trapped inside.

Hopefully the weather at the lake in August is much better.

Moving Day

Today Johnny and I are going to my mama's to help her move out. The lease on their house was supposed to end July 31st, but since the fire caught hold of a good bit of their stuff and the landlord wasn't much help with everything, they're getting out of it early. Christy Michelle is moving in with the Hendersons until she leaves for Penn Tech. I'm still kind of just pretending she isn't ever going to go off to college.

GG is picking us up in a little bit to drive us out to Stormstown since Stephen ended up having to work today afterall. Sure, people everywhere get the day off since tomorrow is the 4th, but not Penn State! Oh no, why would they do that? So daddy and Steve are stuck inside.

Last night was pretty cool. Lisa and Tim came over for dinner and we had a good time catching up. Tim can talk a mile an hour just as well as I can, so time just kind of flies and we never run out of stuff to discuss. He is kind of amazed at times when Lisa and I just change subjects mid-sentence on eachother and still understand what is going on. After 18 years or so of friendship, a good 14 of which spent in close proximity of one another, I'd hope as women we could follow one another's thought processes. Men just don't get it.

August 1st is the Geleskie/Howell wedding. I keep saying Lisa should be called Lovey so she can be a character from Gilligan's Island. Anyway, it should be fun. Big huge Catholic wedding, and then a reception at the Ramada in the ballroom. I'm excited to see my childhood friend get married. She is excited I'm bringing Johnny. It's a good trade off from my point of view, as he is kind of attached to my hip for the most part anyway! I'll take him up to the cry room if he gets noisy during the ceremony, and otherwise we are set. His first wedding! -- Poor kid has a mom who loves them, so he will be to a good many in his lifetime. Depending on when his aunts get married, he stands a good chance of being in a few as well.

Pudding and Picnics

Yesterday we went to Gary and Dotty's for dinner. Steaks on the grill and potato salad. Pretty darn good, but I was still hungry, so I sent Steve (and Gary, who went running out the door to catch up for a ride to the grocery store) to get me the ingredients for the pudding desert I always make for kids. Nice and easy... all you have to do is layer the cookies, pudding, and bananas. Well, Gary has decided this is his new "famous recipe he has been making for years". He plans on convincing Johnny of this. I truly love my father-in-law.

After dinner we went and picked up Mindy. She spent the evening holding and playing with Johnny while we worked on making her a resume and posting ads on craigslist to offer her services as a nanny. We've made it a family business! We're all going to watch kids! Christy is still watching Gabe and Eli, and once the fall hits I'll be back to work with Averey and Kelsey, as well as anyone else I find to take on. Can you tell we were raised in a home daycare?

Mindy had fun with Johnny though. We have been rather amazed with him lately because about two weeks ago he started repeating "hi" back to me, and a few days ago he started in with "hello" as well. Mindy tried for a while to get him to say something to her, but he seems to be partial to my father out of anyone. He will sit and "talk" with anyone, but he is picky about who he says certain things to. Johnny has already figured out how to work the system!!!

With the 4th of July coming up, we have made plans to go to GG's for a picnic, and then home when everyone else goes to the fireworks. I don't think I want Johnny that close to the crazy noise. I had a hard enough time sitting through Christy's graduation ceremony with the orchestra 50 feet away and playing loudly. I had my fingers in his ears for that, and when they finally paused for a break, Steve took him out of the main part of the Bryce Jordan Center. Fireworks just seem excessive at his age. Maybe when he is 4 or 5 we will go and watch them. For now, I'm good to wait.

GG is excited. Originally she was only going to get Johnny-time on Saturday. Well, a bunch of us cleaned and pack boxes at my mom's on Friday, and GG volunteered to spend the day there with Johnny. I don't know who will be more ecstatic with this arrangement, the grandmother or the grandchild. This should be a fun weekend.

Pictures and Drawings

Today we got some more prints of Johnny in from his shutterfly. Every time we invite more people they offer free prints, so I usually end up doing that and then paying like $2 in shipping and $2 for some wallet-size pictures. Once we actually have the money to afford a good number of prints and an album to put them all in, we will be using that site to purchase all of them because they are so great! I am definitely a fan.

I made a poster collage a few years ago, and since the prints arrived in the mail I decided it would be good to redo it. I took off any irrelevant pictures (friends I've not seen or talked to in years, etc.) and added some of Johnny and Steve. It is looking pretty good, if I do say so myself. Steve will be hanging it in our hallway tonight, and will also be hanging my drawing for Johnny over his crib. People harass me because I am so obsessed with pictures, albums, art, and pretty much anything that can preserve a memory in a visual way. What can I say? I've been writing my whole life, I have to slowly expand and grow to other forms of expression! Go creativity!

Anniversary

One year ago I married Stephen.

One year ago my family took bets on how long it would take for a child to enter the equation.

Though their bets varied, every single one of them placed the birth prior to our first anniversary. Today Johnny is 2 months and 23 days old. Oh, the changes we have gone through in just one simple year!

Yesterday afternoon we dropped Johnny off with Grammy and Chris. Steve and I proceeded to celebrate our anniversary with a wonderful meal at Olive Garden, courtesy of a gift card from his parents, and then returned home for a child-free evening of movies and time together without any responsibilities. We stayed up late, talked for hours on end, and slept in this morning.

Today we took our time getting up, and had waffles for brunch. We made the 12:30 showing of Angels & Demons, courtesy of gift certificates from Elizabeth, and proceeded from there to Altoona to pick Johnny back up. Let me just tell you, as much as I loved the time alone with my husband, that was the LONGEST 24 hours of my life! I've never been away from Johnny for that long, and though I knew he was perfectly safe where he was, it was a lot to handle as a new mom! It didn't help that at dinner last night we were sat next to a table that had a 5 week old baby. I spent half the time staring at the little one and her mom, and even Steve was talking about how he wishes we had their car seat because it was of better design than our own.

Now that I've had some time to cuddle and chat with my own little guy, I'm feeling a lot better. He has just fallen asleep in his swing. It's batteries are dead, again, for the 10th time in less than 3 months, and we have returned to pushing it by hand. After not having him here, I hardly minded rocking it myself.

Tomorrow brings back the real world, but for now I'm happy just laying next to my two boys and falling asleep.

"First" of the day: Swimming

Today was rather fun. Steve, Johnny and I went to Aunt Cheryl's so that she could finally meet the little guy, and then we went swimming! Johnny wasn't sure what he thought of the water, but once he warmed up to the idea he seemed quite happy. Meanwhile, it gave me a chance to catch up with Cheryl which was really cool. I wish we could get together more often, things have just been really crazy over the past year for both her family and mine. Hopefully life will slow down a little now, but who ever really knows?

Cheryl was wonderful enough to shed some light on a much-debated subject when it comes to Johnny... his red hair! Apparently her grandfather was a redhead! So Johnny's great great grand-dad was a ginger too, and that is where he gets it from. Good to know, since no one was really sure how he ended up with it. His aunt Mindy had strawberry blonde hair as a baby, but turned white-blonde. His dad and his grandpa Gary both have red facial hair, but now we have a through-and-through full head source. Too bad Steve doesn't remember his great grandfather's real name because he only knew him as Pap Pap...

Anyway, this week seems to be shaping up. Elizabeth was here for most of yesterday and we had a blast watching movies and catching up. Since she is off for the summer, we are hoping to go together with Johnny for more days at Cheryl's pool, as well as have some more movie marathons. In the meantime, she plans on coming over for dinner tomorrow night!

I was talking off-hand to Lizzie yesterday about our most recent problem of Johnny still not fitting in diapers any bigger than the newborn size. Since we are kinda broke, he has been having to deal with size 1 even though they are way too big for him, and I was telling her how funny I found it that his legs are still so skinny and that they fall right off of him. Well, leave it to Elizabeth, she showed up a few hours after leaving for the evening with not one, but TWO huge boxes of Pampers Swaddlers newborns. She really is a blessing. Remember that Johnny... your aunt Lizzie supplied you with diapers that actually fit, so you better be nice to her!

Well, tonight's plans are pretty laid back, as there are none. It is the second time since Johnny was born that it is only the three of us for the evening, so we are kind of excited to be just our own little family unit. I don't know what is up for dinner, but I am getting hungry so I think I will go see what we have in the kitchen.

Father's Day

Johnny (okay, I) made Steve a tie for Father's Day. It has his footprints on it and says "#1 Dad"... What? Every dad needs a cheesy tie from his kids! Besides, with our current financial state, the $8 tie was about as much as I could squeeze out of the bank account. Actually, my dad paid for it. I still owe him, I'd better not forget that.

We spent the night at GG's last night because we were Andy sitting and so this morning when I woke up I went out to the living room where Steve was sleeping on the couch to find Johnny no longer in his pack-and-play but on his dad's chest. Both of my boys were out cold. I took a picture and then a little while later when Johnny had decided to wake up I snapped another. They're too cute, I love them both so much!

Our meeting up with Ann on Friday was great, I am glad she was able to spend about 20 minutes or so with him and we could all catch up a little. Johnny had been put in a cute outfit, but managed to projectile puke on everyone and everything (including his clothes of course) just as the plane was landing. By the time she got to see him he was back in a white onezie. Oh well! We got a few good pictures and then they had to get going to make it to the rehearsal dinner in time for Shannon's wedding.

Last night was our Father's Day dinner for my dad. Mindy, Christy, Brian, and later Matt were all able to be there. We had tacos, gave him gifts, and watched I Now Pronnounce You Chuck & Larry. Steve and I had given him the movie, and everyone spent the rest of the night asking him if he was hiding something from us... "Where is Chuck?" Good times, and then a few of us ended the night with The Italian Job. Johnny and I had passed out before the end of that one!

Today we took our time getting up and moving, and plan on taking it easy. We are going to go over to Steve's parent's to give Gary his gift, and then will be headed into church this evening. Relatively mellow and relaxed, we might cap off the evening with another movie. Who knows? It's all up to what Steve wants to do, as it is his day!

Auntie Ann

Tomorrow Johnny will get to meet his (great) aunt Ann. She is flying into State College briefly to meet up with her best friend and they are headed off to the Poconos for the girl's wedding... at least, that is my understanding of the situation. Either way, GG is stopping by after lunch and picking Johnny and I up to go to the airport. I don't know how long we will have to hang out, but I'm glad Ann will get to meet him while he is still this little, as the next time we will see her is mid-August. It is hard to believe that Johnny will be 4 1/2 months by then!!!

Reflecting on today, I had a bit of a hard time. Poor Johnny is just now finally starting to get over the thrush he has been battling for over a week now, but he still isn't feeling well. I myself am still sick, and adding that to a sick kid, things were just a bit rocky. Nothing really in particular happened that was bad, it just wasn't exactly a good day. This evening however was great! We had Mindy and Matt over for dinner, (pot roast, Steve made it) and got some good footage of Johnny talking and dancing with his aunt. We are so glad she has been able to make it over more often lately, she is so much fun!

Both Johnny and I are missing his aunt Christy right now. She is away on her "senior week" trip to Raystown with her friends, and although it is no big deal having a few days without her around, it kind of is setting us up for how things will be in the fall when she leaves for college. I can tell Johnny is noticing the difference too because he starts to cry every day at the time she would usually walk in the door. He also doesn't like it when anyone but Christy tickles him and gets mad at everyone else who tries. We're having early seperation anxiety.

Maybe both of the aunts will be interested in joining us for spring break next year?! We are thinking of looking into a trip to the Outer Banks. Including tax, I've found a cabin for right around $500/week. Sounds fun if you ask me!

Keeping Up-to-Date

I recently created a website for those who want to see updated pictures of Johnny and have the ability to order prints. I think it will come in handy, as people are constantly asking me for pictures but I can't afford to get them printed and hand them out. I recently ordered some new wallet-size photos of him, but other than that every few months, people are just going to have to be content with getting their prints themselves. Meanwhile, I'd love to be able to afford any prints, as I want to have photo albums!!!

Anyway, things here at casa-de-delafield are going just fine. Stephen is getting his macbook pro either today or tomorrow, so he is thrilled about that, and promising to let me use his other mac to store all of the photos of Johnny on so that we have a backup of some sort available.

Johnny is continuing to be a ham and pose for pictures. He is totally to the stage where he likes to coo and talk as well as smile every time he is given a reason. He continues to love music and enjoys dancing with me while I carry him around the house. Music is still the best thing to soothe him, which makes me sure that he will take after his father and aunt Mindy.

In other news, Stephen has finally agreed to let me get another tattoo. I want to get Johnny's initials and birth date on my wrist, and for every subsequent kid add more. Though he isn't thrilled about me getting more ink, he thinks that is about as tasteful as he can ask for, and it is kind of a cool idea. Simple, but nice... and small. I'll have to wait a little while to save up the money, but I'm excited. Thanks for the idea T'sana!

Start of the Summer

Finally the weather has started to act like it's really mid-June. Imagine that... consistent temperatures above 65? Really?

Christy's graduation was Saturday. The ceremony was long and boring, as usual with State High, but the party afterward was a lot of fun. Johnny got passed around to just about everyone there, most of whom I'd never met before and will never see again. No idea who everyone was, as it was a joint party for 4 kids. Mandie, Christy's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend, stole Johnny for a while and I wasn't sure I'd get him back before the end of the day. She decided she wants to keep him for now until she can have her own kids. Brian's dad told her not to get any ideas, he isn't ready to be a grandpa. I don't blame him, his son Billy is only 19!

The Clarks and the Millers all made it to the party, so it was the first time any of them met Johnny. Aunt Karen held him for about an hour and a half, so I'd say they got along just fine. She is looking forward to spoiling him at the lake in August. Even Mark hunted us down while at the part specifically to see Johnny, though he can see him any time he likes. He is too cute, I love my grandpa!

Johnny and I tried out his new shade tent on Sunday when Aly invited us over to her dad's to swim. The water was too cold for Johnny, so I didn't try the whole first-time thing just yet, I let him nap or chill with Stephen while I was in the water. Daddy came and joined in the fun and we had a BBQ with the Lewis crew. It was a nice end to the weekend.

Sunday night arrived however, and Johnny started to get sick. He puked more fluid than I thought his body could actually physically contain, and after getting a bath and puking some more, he really had us worried. He also had a low-grade fever. My mom told us to keep an eye on him and to pinch him every so often to see if his skin relaxed right back down or stayed a little doughy. If it did, it meant he was dehydrated and we'd have to take him right to the ER. Thankfully the little guy did start to feel better, and by morning everything was okay. Mom and dad survived their son's first sick day... I'd say we weren't too bad! Especially since I myself was running a fever. Yesterday morning I got into the doctor since I still wasn't feeling well and was put on an antibiotic for an ear infection. Hooray!

Last night we went to Grandma Yingling's for dinner (we brought steak & potatoes) and to do laundry. Johnny got to see Rush Hour for the first time, which is good because Jackie Chan is an actor his father loves and whose movies he owns a ton of. I have to say, I'm a fan. I always have been... but it was crazy a year or so ago to find out the guy can actually sing too! Random I know, from a martial arts stunt guy, but rather interesting. Anyway, we had fun. Tonight? Rush Hour 2.

Nakey Time!

Johnny loves to be stripped down to his diaper. For that matter, he'd go 100% in his birthday suit if I'd let him. But alas, I do not find the prospect of a diaperless infant a good idea for very long at a time, so once a day he gets about 15 minutes to just chill out on a mat on the floor... usually directly following an explosive diaper so I can assure there won't be any more coming for a little while.

As it is getting warmer out, we are finding more and more that a diaper only is the best way to go! I figured this much while I was pregnant, didn't plan on having more than a onesie on him at best, and it has indeed been the case. Last night we were hanging out with my dad in a house with no airconditioning and it took a grand total of about ten seconds for Johnny to start whining and pulling at his clothes. Once stripped, he felt much better. Might this exhibitionst side come from his mother? The woman who doesn't wear shoes and would be set for life if a sports bra and shorts were the most anyone was required to wear?! I do believe so...

Fussy!!!

So I don't know whether he is starting to teethe, (hes chewing on his binks) or if he simply wasn't feeling well, but Johnny spent the entire day freaking out. He would scream at the top of his lungs every 3 or 4 minutes no matter what anyone did. Holding him, cuddling, changing, feeding, walking, bouncing, swinging... nothing made him happy! The only time he stopped screaming all day was for the 10 minutes he was in the bathtub. He finally fell asleep for the first time since 8:00am about 20 minutes ago. -- It's almost 11:00pm!!!

He doesn't have a fever, I tried some baby orajel, he didn't respond to gripe water, and it can't be his stomach because for the first time in days everything is actually all normal on that front. I know its crazy for me to be worried since he is just an unusually perfect baby most of the time, but if he doesn't start to be more "Johnny" by tomorrow I'm going to call the doctor and ask for suggestions. All kids have bad days, but there is nothing I can find that triggered this one! Setting him down to cry didn't fix it, holding him all of the time isn't helping much, but at least it isn't constant crying, there are a few minute breaks here and there. Johnny! What can I do?

I hope he sleeps well tonight... he is so exhausted at this point! As am I...

Home again...

Johnny and I are back from our weekend in Altoona with Grammy. We have returned to a rested and recharged Stephen, which is great news for me because my migraines aren't getting any better and I could use a little help with Johnny. I need to get some rest today before Steve goes back to work tomorrow.

I believe the plan is to make a pot roast for tomorrow night's family dinner. Aunt Mindy might come, so I need to call and see if she is bringing Matt or not in order to get a good head count. If there are too many people, it might be lasagna instead! -- I'm not complaining, I love either meal!

Our new project for the time being is working on the wedding invitations for Grammy. Johnny and I went with her to pick out the supplies needed to make them, and now he is helping me put them together. Well, he's sitting with me while I work on them, smiling on and off between working on a diaper. Steve still says he's not smiling at me, it's just gas. He is sure Johnny only smiles at him. Men... they're so delusional. Thank goodness I have a good number of years before Johnny can be counted as one of them!

I'll keep my baby little while I still can...

Time & Altoona

Happy 2 months kiddo! -- Really? Already?

Johnny and I are with my mom for an early weekend, Thursday-Saturday. We have enjoyed going to the mall, doing some other shopping, watching movies, playing cards, and cooking. Last night I taught Kyle how to make my chocolate chip cookies, and in the process found something I wanted to tweak about my recipe that made them even better! I always mess around with my recipes a good 10 times or so until I have them how I like them, but that was the first time I've touched that one in over a year because I'd thought I had it down pat. Just goes to show what can happen when you're missing an ingredient and your creative side takes over!

Though I have a pack n play set up in the room with me here, I haven't been putting Johnny in it simply because the bed is so big I might as well just keep him on it with me. My sleep habits really haven't been getting any better, and in the past few days may have actually taken a step backward. I got about 2 1/2 hours last night. I guess I am doomed to forever deal with the sleep cycle of a giraffe.

Grammy bought Johnny a really cute outfit yesterday while we were out shopping. A dress shirt and khakis with little frogs all over them! I can't wait to see them on him, but the smallest we could find was 9months, so we will have to wait a while. Too adorable though, I'm excited! She also got him some more socks, as he was in desperate need and none of the stores in State College sell ones small enough for his feet!

Tomorrow we are going to get our hair cut and show Johnny off to her friends. Then will spend some more time hanging out before going back home in the evening. As much as I love the bed I'm sleeping in, I will really like being back in my own! Something about the familiarity and comfort of what you're used to is just too important to miss out on for long, even if you're not sleeping a whole lot. That, and I'd like my book selection back. I've just got one here with me and finished it last night.

I wonder if Steve will read The Dante Club to Johnny and I when we get home?

10lb 2oz... slow down buddy!!!

I really wish Johnny wouldn't grow so quickly. It's not like I want a stunted child or anything, I just wish he would stay tiny forever! He is my first baby, it is going to be hard to watch him get older and bigger so quickly... by the time we get to kid #3... 5... or 12... I'm sure I'll be more well adjusted.

Speaking of more kids, I went today to have the Mirena placed. All is set there, so we are prego-free for the next few years. Well, at least until I get all anxious and convince Steve that it really is desperately important that we keep the children close together in age. That's when I'll run back into the doctor's and reverse the process! Too bad we can't financially handle another kid right away, because I'd much rather just go ahead and start trying for the next one. Believe it or not, I loved being pregnant. All of the health problems aside, I could be pregnant over and over and just love the whole experience!

You can tell the whole pregnancy thing is on my mind a lot still when I've been picking out a name for a boy, should we have another. We are agreed on two girl's names already, so no problem there, but it took us forever to settle on Johnny. In my postpartum brain it only makes sense to be prepared should we ever find ourselves in the same predicament again. Surprisingly we've found one... Abel. I know, it's seemingly random and not a name you run across in every day life. Actually, I don't think I have ever known anyone with the name nor anyone who has met an Abel. If you ask me, it falls right in line with Jonathan. Both were men who missed the limelight in their biblical stories, yet were great examples of obedience. Jonathan is the example of the best friend a man could have, saving David from certain death. He was obedient by bending without question to God's will for David to take Jonathan's rightful place as king. Abel was the first example of true obedience in the Bible and gave to the Lord his very best, and died as a result of his giving. In the end, I think I'll keep sticking to the biblical names for my boys.

Anyway, that is all totally off subject really. As I have just said, we are now certain not to have another kid for a few years, much less have the ability to know if the next one is a boy or a girl. I'm just... crazy. Postpartum hormones and insanity all add up to this instinctive gravitation toward pregnancy all over again. I never understood why a woman would want to get pregnant again right after giving birth. Now I know that it is something you couldn't possibly fully appreciate without having had a child yourself. I understand that even then it is a small percentage of us moms that are that nuts, but I am not the only one to ever say "lets go again" right after poppin' one out!

Back to the real world...

Johnny and I will be going to my mother's for an early weekend, Thursday-Saturday. It should be a nice getaway from State College, and I am really glad it will give Steve a chance to relax. He plans on having some friends over on Thursday and possibly again Friday night, and I wouldn't be surprised if he spent the majority of the day on Saturday at Justin's house with the guys. Poor Steve more than deserves some sanity time, and I couldn't be happier that he will finally have a chance to play his video games and be all geeky without having to worry about a crazy wife or baby boy. After everything he has been through the past few weeks, it's his turn.

For now I plan on taking tomorrow nice and slow since it's the first day this week without 3 or 4 appointments. It will be great to stay home and just chill with Johnny. I love lazy days.

3 - South

Well, for the better part of this week I've been in the hospital. 3 - South to be exact, which in Mount Nittany Medical Center is the Psych ward. As I like to refer to it, I was at Crazy Camp.

It all started last Friday when I freaked out, went manic, locked myself in the bathroom and literally cut off all of my hair. One piece had been in my face all day, and when I hit that crazy point, I apparently decided to take care of it. It was all a little bit of a blur to me, but in the end my hair is the shortest it has been in years. Welcome to postpartum depression when you are bipolar!

Saturday they took me to the hospital for help. We were in the ER for over 5 hours only for them to give us a phone number to call the next time I freaked out and send us home. Some help that is... at least my angel of a son didn't cry or fuss once in the whole time we were sitting there. Johnny was amazing, and spent the evening cuddling with me when we got home. Apparently he is the only way they (Steve & Daddy) got me calmed down... again, it is all kind of blurry.

Sunday was a decently good day. We spent our time at home, relaxed, and though I was still rapid cycling, I wasn't too extreme. Monday this all changed however, and though I don't remember anything past about noon until late that night, I am told I had an "episode" that resulted in being held down and then taken back to the ER. They asked Steve a lot of questions as we sat in a safety-room that included video surveillance and tall ceilings with recessed lighting and a thick plastic window. In my many trips to the ER throughout my pregnancy, I had only seen that particular room used twice... for people in handcuffs with a policeman or two stationed outside the locked door. Thankfully they let me keep the door open and have Steve, Daddy, and Johnny in there with me. At this point I wasn't talking.

After the psych consult came down from 3 - South, they decided it would be in everyone's best interest to admit me for at least half a week. In all of my 22 years I have somehow avoided in-patient care for my crazy bipolar self, but postpartum put me over the edge. I only agreed to sign the papers if they would work out a way for me to see Johnny several times a day, and supply me with a breast pump because I refused to switch him to formula. That is, unless it was necessary because of what medication I was taking. This is when they took me up to the ward, which was very much like the one depicted in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. Seriously, I think they copied the floor plan exactly from the movie.

The deal I was given was that I could see Johnny 4 times a day, as long as I agreed to be put in a room within full sight of the nurse's station so that they could keep an eye on me whenever I needed to pump. I wasn't allowed a room mate because they had to have me keep the plastic line from the bottle to the machine in my bathroom after every cleaning. As it turns out, the Medela pumps from this century are kept on the maternity ward and are too good for psych patients, so I had the old school monster that my mom was given when I was born. It hasn't been used since, I can assure you. The night nurse Kathleen was impressed they even found a package of attachments still in the closet. They locked the pump up in between uses, (which I really couldn't completely figure out since there is no conceivable way to kill yourself with it unless you somehow got a hold of the power tools necessary to open the human-proof case that housed the electric part) and I was made to go request it every so many hours. I had to put up a little sign on my room that said only women who knocked could enter. No guys allowed.

Well, those were the terms. I was checked in, and at 8pm they kicked my family out. I proceeded to bawl for several hours worried they would take my baby away from me forever, which I know fully well would be impossible since Steve would be the first to get custody over me anyway, but nonetheless freaked me out because let's face it... I was nuts!

I had sent Steve home with a list of things to bring to me such as clothing and toiletries to use for the duration of my stay -- length still to be determined by a doctor I had yet to meet. Among the items NOT allowed were the following: shoes with laces, iPods, CD players, pants with drawstrings, pretty much anything with a zipper longer than 2 1/2 inches, plastic bags of any kind, aereosol cans, (actually cans of any kind...) duffel bags, heavy-toed boots or shoes, dental floss "not even a tiny piece", makeup with mirrors or application brushes/tools, food with caffeine, and of course no alcohol, weapons, razors, drugs, etc. You would be surprised at the things they had seen used for self-harm! The trashcans had paper bags, the showers were locked except under direct supervision from 7am-8am or sometime after 9:30pm, the fire extinguishers were recessed and would themselves down from up inside the ceiling if a fire were to happen, there were no strings, chords, plugs, or a single thin lengthy thing of that nature at all, and there was not a single doorknob in the joint.

On the door of every room was a chart for the occupants that had to be signed by a nurse or counselor every 15 minutes (24/7) indicating their whereabouts. The TV in the lounge was hardwired into the wall so you couldn't even see the chords, the refrigerator was locked at night and situated directly in the line of sight for the nurse's station. The windows were about 3 inches thick, the mirrors in our bathrooms were plastic and cemented to the wall, and the "child safety scissors" etc. used during the art session were under lock and key at all times. You couldn't even access the glitter if you had a whim to make something sparkly.

Wake-up was 7:00am, breakfast at 8:00, community meeting at 9:00, group therapy at 10:30, relaxation techniques at 11:30, lunch at noon. Meditation started at 1, short break following before activities group at 2:30. At 3:30 was the self reflection group, 4:30 brought us to the second activities group of the day. Dinner was at 5:00, visiting hours were 6:00-8:00, and the evening community meeting was at 8:30. We finally stopped scheduled routine at about 9:30 and had to be in our rooms by 11:00pm. Out of the 6 patients on the ward, 5 of us were insomniacs, so that went over really well. Maximum occupancy we were told is 11 people, and we were to count ourselves lucky it wasn't totally full.

Medication was delivered via the largest cash-register looking machine ever, and distributed by the scanning of our hospital bracelets under a nurse's watchful eye. All of our meals were pre-screened by the staff, we were given a spoon and a fork to be directly returned after our supervised group meal, and they recorded what percentage of what we ate. I averaged a little less than 50%.

We had a meeting with the Psychiatrist every day to review, make medication adjustments, and continue planning our individual treatment. At least once during our stay we were required to request a family meeting with whoever we lived with and any additional people we felt would help us benefit from the counseling. Steve came in on Wednesday for a 1:00 meeting with the group therapist who lead the daily morning sessions. She was actually very surprised by the setup we have had going at home ever since we started dating... how Stephen helps me cope and adjust to problems and how I receive his support willingly. Apparently we have a very unique and close relationship. We made some plans as far as my treatment post-discharge and she set us up with some really good agencies to help us get my insurance back and maintain my mental health care. Without an insider, you aren't able to get into these programs, and apparently it takes being hospitalized in order to get the help. She said it was in no way our fault that my treatment has been spotty at best, and she apologized for the very screwed up system that she wishes she could change.

Three of the counselors as well as the psychiatrist on duty all independently expressed high suspicion that if given more consistent supervision, I would quickly be diagnosed with high functioning Aspergers Syndrome. This is a view that the therapist I saw throughout my pregnancy also voiced, and my family has agreed with. Yay! Lets add to my list... Although, I have to say that looking at the evidence I really do believe they are all right. It would explain a lot, and technically take over the OCD and ADD diagnoses.

Anyway, my visits with Johnny were scheduled for 9:30-10:30am, noon-1:00, 3:30-4:00, and ward-wide visiting hours 6:00-8:00pm. Various people who had taken Johnny throughout the week would bring him in to see me, including Grandma Jean, Daddy, Christy, and Mindy. Mama also visited, as well as Brian and of course Steve. When looking at it, only two of the daily visits interrupted any group sessions, and never for an entire session, so I was kept extremely busy all day. The movie 28 Days with Sandra Bullock could not have been a more accurate depiction of my time at Crazy Camp.

I was finally discharged yesterday around noon, and spent the rest of the day with Mindy helping out at home. She and I talked for a long while, did our own little "craft" and while I took a nap she played with Johnny. I must say, our margarita glasses came out looking quite amazing... though I doubt they would encourage anything involving glass OR alcohol-related paraphernalia back in 3 - South. Man, I'm glad to be home!

Last night I spent a lot of time snuggling with Johnny and fell asleep with him at my side. This morning I cuddled for a long time and spent an hour just breathing him in and holding his little hands. When he fell asleep after his mid-morning feeding, Stephen and I did a little yoga (which is now supposed to be a part of my daily routine according to both him and the doctors) before taking time for a lasagna and salad lunch. Now I'm exhausted, but it sounds like he plans for me to get a shower and then go for a walk with him and Johnny outside in the sun. I hope it's not too chilly out.

It's good to be home.