I'd Rather Not

He isn't a year old yet. Nope, I'd rather not believe it.

The party was wonderful and we had a lot of fun. Johnny was extremely neat with his cake, and Steve and I maintain that it was too precious to him to waste any. We gave him both the normal white cake as well as the cookie cake. (Yes, the amazing masterpiece fell apart twice... I finally gave up and bought from the bakery!)

Johnny got a ton of fun toys and presents, making it possible for me to finally return a lot of the borrowed ones that have been inhabiting every nook and cranny of our house. I'm even going to sell some of the things he no longer plays with, both to make room and to finance the next pack of diapers. Someone asked me if I was planning on selling his clothes at all in hopes that the next kiddo is a girl. Um, no! I am of the belief that even if it is a girl, over half of his clothes would be just fine on her. Besides, I'm not taking any risks, and there is no sense in selling clothes now and then having to buy them all over again.

I'm so ready to have another baby. Obviously that isn't a possibility at this point in life. We don't have the money for the kid we have, let alone another. I'm just dying!!! It doesn't help that I know of several friends that have recently gotten pregnant. Kristi Bricker is on my side, we both want it to be our turn again, but common sense insists we wait. Everyone I talk to thinks I'm nuts for my rational side to even want to start trying again in a year, but I think that is all the longer I can force myself to wait. I don't want them too far apart! That would already make Johnny close to three when the next baby is born! When I look at how close my sisters and I are, I can't help but attribute a lot of that to our ages. Steve and his siblings are too far spread apart to have pretty much anything in common. Sure, the girls and I fought a lot as kids, but we've always been there for each other every step of the way and I want to promote that among my own children. Even if it makes us really tight on money, I know we could find a way. Right now more than anything the reason we need to wait is my health. Things need to even out again and come to a point where we could handle it if something went wrong with the next pregnancy. We aren't there yet!

Johnny honey, I love you and would not change a thing about the past year with you! You're more amazing than I could ever have dreamed you would be, and I would do anything for you! (As long as it's in your best interest, because of course you won't be eating cookies before your dinner... well, maybe once or twice.)

Enter year two!