Sunday, March 29, 2009

Afraid to Fall Asleep


Though my dreams have been very strange and messed up, they are not the reason I have been having a hard time even convincing myself to try for some sleep. It's these stupid leg cramps I keep having that are making me crazy! They only hit when I am sleeping because I stretch in different ways while I'm unconscious. When I am awake I'm very careful not to stretch in the ways I know could possibly cause the problem, but I can't control what I do when I'm out... especially since I so rarely do get any decent sleep time.

A few months ago I went to the hospital with the same problem, and they sent me home after a thousand tests with the conclusion that my potassium level was so low it was virtually non-existent. Ever since I have been taking a daily supplement to try and boost it, but as I am quickly finding out, it is no longer enough. I've doubled my dose, and following the orders I was given at the hospital, I take extra in the middle of any of the spasm attacks to try and stop them.

When they hit, it feels like someone is taking a large butcher knife to my calf (or wherever it is) and slicing in as far as they can get it, then retracting as slowly as possible to further the pain. It can hit in as many as 4 or 5 places at once and has me quite literally screaming into a pillow as to not wake the neighbors. I can try to massage it out, but that typically triggers more spots, and most of the time just have to wait 15 minutes or so in agony until they stop or dull. I have to say, as wimpy as this may sound, it is the most painful thing I have ever experienced in my life. I know, I'm yet to actually give birth, but until I go through all of that, this is number one on the list. Leg cramps, really? But man... ouch!

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